First of all, don’t get me wrong. I don’t make resolutions. Every day – every day – is a new day. I don’t wait for January 1st to improve my thinking, or swear off a bad habit, or start the diet ( you know, the one that will finally work!), or try to be a better person. I no more give dates on a calendar that level of importance on how to improve my life than I do the hour of the day to decide when I need to eat. If my stomach grumbles, I nosh. I don’t wait for February 14th to tell my husband I love him and my daughter doesn’t wait for Mother’s Day to show her appreciation.
We take it as it comes.
What I do try to work on is my minute to minute thought process. As I get older and closer to what I presume is menopause, I find it’s easier for me to snap. I get more irritable much easier and my new diet is composed of all the heads I bite off without warning. Whether my imbalance is hormonal or not, I am trying to consciously make healthier choices. I’ve spent my whole life allowing knee-jerk reactions to take precedence, so un-learning that behavior is new and just a bit challenging.
It’s also so easy to blame others for making me feel lousy, but I know better. No one can make me feel anything unless I want to give them that kind of power. Everyone around me is a catalyst; what they do, what they say, how they behave can provoke my thoughts. I can observe all around me but ultimately how I feel and respond is entirely up to me. It’s my choice.
So for now, I will try to choose balanced, loving and moderately sane behavior. Until I get my period…